Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
Written report translated from audio report:
“Ding dong the witch is dead. It is with great happiness and emotion that I learned today that the world’s leading terrorist has been removed from the face of earth. This is great news and should be received as such by all peace loving, freedom speaking citizens of the world. This will not end the war on terror, but it will certainly be a milestone and hopefully we will look back on this as a turning point in a new world direction towards peace, freedom and toleration for men and women of all faiths and religious beliefs and backgrounds. That is my hope and joy. God bless America.
Turning now to unimportant, insignificant matters by way of comparison, I thought I would lay out my schedule for the soon to begin assault on the summit.
The day after tomorrow my plan is to leave for Advance Base Camp, which would put me at ABC on May 5. I plan to stay at ABC and rest for 2 days, May 6 and 7, excuse me, 3 days, May 6, 7, and 8 and then on May 9 my plan is to move to Camp 1 on the north col and sleep there.
On May 10 I will then move from Camp 1 on the north col to Camp 2 and sleep at Camp 2 and then on May 11 I will move to Camp 3, sleep at Camp 3 on May 11 and on May 12 rest at Camp 3 until approximately 8 PM and then depart for the summit and arrive on the summit on May 13.
So that’s the plan. Obviously it’s all dependent upon weather and also upon the Chinese fixing lines to the summit as planned by that date. So, there is always a possibility that these plans will shift and move as conditions dictate, but least that’s my current plan on my summit assault. I feel absolutely terrific, I am still here of course at Chinese Base Camp, feeling really great.
Doug and Aboul are planning to leave tomorrow for ABC. They are leaving before me because they would like to make one move from ABC up to the north col and then come down back to ABC which is a move that I just don’t feel I need to make so they are leaving a day early. At least that’s their current plan.
So that’s is the situation from Chinese Base Camp and I will report any changes as they occur and I just close with these words. God bless America and God bless all of you.”